So why do bride’s hide from the groom in the first place?  Let’s start with some background on how this whole tradition got started.  If you’ve never heard this before, you might be a little shocked.  Back in the days of arranged marriages, weddings were usually business transactions between the couple’s families.  It was always in the father’s best interest to marry off his daughters, but what if his daughters weren’t blessed with naturally good looks?  Or let’s just say, what if you couldn’t tell the difference between the bride to be, and a sasquatch?  (Ok, that’s harsh… but then so is the way this whole tradition started in the first place.)  If the bride’s father needed to marry off his daughter for financial reasons and he knew she was a bit challenged in the “beauty” department, then how would he find a wealthy man willing to marry her?  Easy, the bride and groom were not allowed to meet each other until the wedding day.  On top of that, throw a veil over her face and the groom can’t even see his bride while they make their vows to each other.  Only after they were married would the groom be allowed the lift the veil to see his new wife’s face for the first time.   So women were hidden not only during the engagement, but also behind a veil at the wedding, for fear that they might not be beautiful enough to marry off.  Not the most positive background for such a long lasting tradition, wouldn’t you say?  Even after arranged marriages became the way of yesterday,  the bride continued to hide from the groom.

Today, the tradition isn’t about meeting the bride for the first time, it’s about seeing the bride in her dress for the first time.  So the groom waits at the end of the aisle, waiting to see the woman he loves, dressed as a bride.  It is a beautiful moment, but it doesn’t have to be captured in the aisle to be a beautiful moment.  In fact, remove it from the aisle and suddenly this moment takes on a new life of it’s own.  Couples are now doing what’s called a Reveal.  The groom waits, with ever so much anticipation, as his bride begins to approach him and he finally see’s her all dressed up as his bride.  It’s almost exactly the same as the aisle moment, only it takes place before the ceremony, and usually in private, which makes it much more likely to be an emotional moment for the couple.  Since they are not at the ceremony yet, they have time to react and communicate with each other during this incredibly special moment.  After spending a few minutes together, kissing, crying, and sometimes exchanging gifts, they then get to take advantage of some of the benefits that come along with seeing each other before the ceremony.

Elizabeth and Ryan, during their emotional Reveal in Dec ’11.  Upon seeing each other for the first time, Ryan was floored and they both erupted in tears.  

After a few minutes of crying, kissing and laughing, he suddenly turns to the camera to show that he was “double” prepared for the moment!     It’s hard for me to keep a dry eye looking back at these images.

Besides the Reveal, which itself is an amazing thing to experience, here are some other advantages that come along with it:

1.)  You have time for Creative Portraits.  Most ceremonies are at night, but if we do a reveal before the ceremony while the sun is still out, we get to take advantage of all that beautiful natural light and shoot some amazing portraits the couple will cherish forever.  Couples who don’t see each other until the ceremony, miss the chance to take incredible portraits together, because it’s usually very dark outside and because they need to rush off to their reception so they don’t keep their guests waiting.

2.) Getting the formals out of the way is a HUGE bonus!  Think about it, everyone is all freshly made up, and no smeary makeup on mom from crying during the ceremony.  The sun is out so we can take them outdoors in the sunlight with beautiful backgrounds and soft flattering natural light.  Anticipation and excitement is still very very high at this point, so the expressions and smiles are usually much more authentic.

3.) You’ll get to your reception faster!  Since the formals are all out of the way, after the ceremony you’ll be able to head strait to your reception and get that party started!  No waiting around, chasing down wedding party members who disappeared after the ceremony because they had to use the restroom, or make a phone call.   You and the wedding party are free from having to pose for the camera and your guests don’t have to sit around wondering when you’ll arive.  Everyone is happy!

4.) You’ll probably enjoy your ceremony more.  Nerves are extremely high the morning of the wedding, for both the bride and the groom.  If you stay in that state all the way into the ceremony, it will stay with you during the entire thing.  You finally see each other for the first time on your wedding day, and you can’t hug, you can’t kiss, you can’t talk or say I love you. You only have a chance to glance at each other for a brief second before spending the next hour participating in your wedding ceremony while thinking of all the things you want to say, but can’t.  Then the next thing you know, your posing for formals, running off to your reception, doing your first dance, cutting your cake, and it’s only after your halfway through your reception that you might (MIGHT) find a moment to yourselves to finally say what’s on your mind and take it all in.  I’ve had many couples tell me how it’s all such a whirlwind, and that they barely saw each other or spent time together during their own wedding.  Now compare that to those who decide to do a reveal.  They see each other and hour or two before the ceremony, and those nerves just melt away into euphoria.  They are now calm, content, and just the happiest people on earth.  They spend the next hour or two together alone, away from all the madness, taking beautiful portraits and telling each other how happy they are.  They hug, they cry, they laugh, they kiss, they tell each other how beautiful they look.  They are relaxed.  They are calm.  There is no where else they would rather be, than right there, in that moment.  It’s a moment they will always remember.  For many, it’s their favorite moment during their entire wedding.  Then they go to their ceremony in this calm, but incredibly happy state, and they are able to sit there together for that hour, and just take it all in.

The number one thing I’m told by couples who choose to do the reveal, is that they are positive they wouldn’t have been able to enjoy themselves as much during the ceremony if they had not done the reveal, and brought all that nervousness in the church with them.  That alone is a gigantic plus for doing a reveal.  Add to that all the incredible portraits you gain, and the convinience of getting the formals out of the way early, and you can see why for most couples these days it’s a no brainer!

So now you know just why more and more couples are choosing to make The Reveal their new wedding tradition, and why they love it so much!  There are still many couples who choose not to see each other before, and that’s ok!  Which one should you do?  The one that is true to your heart.  If the only reason you plan to hide from each other is because you’ve heard it’s bad luck, then you may want to reconsider.  But if the reason is deeper than that, if you WANT to wait to let your reaction be witnessed by your guests, then go for it!  Remember, it’s YOUR wedding, so do what YOU want!

I’ve met many mothers of brides who have had very similar experiences with their own wedding pictures, and they know they will never ever see them again. They are lost forever. Whether it was a fire or flood, or lost in a move… the outcome is the same, they are gone and they are never coming back.   This is quite painful for anyone who has lived through this.  We all say pictures are important, but you’ll never know just how important until your faced with the reality that you will never see them again.  Life teaches us, that as time moves forward, our memories begin to fade, and when we leave this earth, the only memories we will have to leave behind to our kids, grand-kids and beyond, are those precious pictures.

So what if my parents would have had the technology we have today?  Hopefully they would have  properly archived their pictures and I would be sharing with you, right now, a lovely remake of their wedding album. Instead, I’m showing you this, a partially burned image from all that is left of their wedding.

The Importance of Archiving

You just got your proof book from me and inside the front cover is that disk you’ve been waiting so patiently for.  So what’s the first thing you do with it?  It’s easy to set it aside and move on with other things, but if you do that, you might risk loosing them forever.  Disks will fail. Hard Drives will fail.  Expect it, and prepare for it.   Don’t let that disk sit somewhere gathering dust.  It was never meant to be a storage device, only a transportation device to get the files from my computer to yours.    So where do you begin?

1.  Check your disk if you haven’t already for errors.  As soon as you get your disk from your photographer, it’s always a good idea to inspect the images to make sure none were corrupted during the burning process.  Once  you know all your files are there, move on to the next step.

2.   Drag those images into a folder on your computer.  BAM!  There’s your first backup, and this will be the master copy that you will use for the rest of your backups.

3.  Make extra backups by copying those files to an external hard drive or a flash drive.  You can get yourself this 16gb sandisk flash drive for around $15.  That should be enough to hold your entire wedding, bridal and engagement photos, with some extra room for the honeymoon pics too!  And it’s tiny enough to store almost anywhere.  Now you have multiple backups, but you still need a backup off site, in case there is a fire or flood or some other unthinkable disaster.  So how do you do that?

4.  Get a cloud account and upload those files overnight.  Try Mozy or Carbonite and just backup your entire computer while your at it.   I’m sure you have many precious images on your computer besides your wedding files that I bet you don’t want to loose.  So just back it all up.

And that’s it!  It’s actually pretty easy.  When it comes to my daughter’s photos, I never burn anything to disk.  I’ve had so many fail me that I just don’t bother anymore.  I have her files stored on a hard drive in my master computer, and copies on 2 external hard drives, as well as online backup.  If one of my hard drives fails, I’ll still have copies on two others.  If two hard drives fail, I’ll still have a surviving copy on the third one, and if all three fail, which seems highly unlikely unless I loose my house to a disaster, I’ll have my online backup.  I don’t want to loose my family pictures.  So I make sure to keep them archived.

We have an opportunity our parents and grandparents didn’t have.  Cherish your prints, but archive your files.

Madeline Gardiner, owner of Joie De Vivre says “It is always important to hire a pro because they know small tricks that make a big difference and they know how the makeup will photograph to give you the look that you are requesting.”

Here are a few tips from Madeline when it comes to getting the best makeup for your big day:

1.  Something many brides do not realize is that you have to go heavy, even if you want your makeup to look natural, in order for it to show up in the photographs.  I generally carry a camera with me to snap a photo of the finished look to show the brides how different it looks on camera.

2.  It’s always important to line the bottom of the eyes, even if it’s with a light brown pencil/shadow, otherwise the eyes will disappear in the photographs.

3.   Make sure to shop around and see who is well rounded and can produce a variety of looks for you; you don’t want to look like every other bride out there.

Madeline was the makeup artist for Allison who was featured yesterday on the blog.  Here she is doing some last minute touch ups for Allison just before the shoot began.  You can find Madeline’s contact info here, along with many other talented vendors for your wedding.

If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to leave your comments below.  I wold love to hear from you!

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Secret #1: Confidence

Haven’t you ever heard the saying, there’s nothing more beautiful than confidence? Well it’s true! People are attracted to confidence and a confident bride always looks amazing in pictures. So how do you find confidence? Well, it’s easier than you think….just remember this: If you feel beautiful on the inside, you will look beautiful on the outside.   However, it will be hard to feel beautiful if your dress doesn’t fit right, or your unsure if you like your hair or makeup, so it’s important to take care of these details so your not distracted at your shoot.  Being prepared will make it easier for you to find your confidence once it’s time to start shooting.  After taking care of everything on the outside, it’s time to work on your inside.  Your state of mind is the secret to controlling your outside appearance.  If you FEEL beautiful, you will LOOK beautiful.  It’s that simple.

Secret #2: Body Language

Body language is extremely important in a bridal shoot. Think about this, your wearing a white dress that covers over 90% of your body, and if you let it, that dress will start to wear you instead. Don’t get me wrong, the dress is beautiful and we all want to see it, but you are the star of the photo shoot, not your dress!  So it’s important that you don’t get lost in it.  One simple trick to remember, is to tilt your hips 45 degrees and lean all your weight on your back foot. Once you do that, your hip will naturally slide out and your waist will tuck in, creating a lovely s-curve along the outline of your body. This will give you gorgeous womanly curves and create amazing shapes in your dress. And one more tip: there’s no shame in practicing in front of the mirror before the shoot. So go ahead and put that dress on, find a full length mirror and discover your full potential!

Secret #3: Be Yourself

At a bridal session, there is so much focus on making sure everything is perfect, from your hair and makeup to your dress and posing, but don’t forget the most important element in the photograph is you. Not just what you look like, but who you are. Open up to the camera and allow yourself to be authentic. You’ll appreciate your pictures more if you see the real you in them.  For example, when you smile, you want to FEEL happy while your smiling, otherwise your giving the camera that fake smile we were all programmed to do when we were kids.  A smile is so much more than just controlling the muscles near your mouth, pulling it open and exposing your teeth.  A smile is something that happens when we think happy thoughts.  So don’t just smile, be happy!

And there you have it!  3 little secrets to take with you to your bridal shoot, or any shoot for that matter.  Let me know if you found this post helpful!

Already shot your bridals and have some tips of your own to share?  Leave a comment below telling us your secrets for taking amazing bridal portraits!  Future brides can’t thank you enough!!